Golden Moments! Gold Coast Marathon 2019...my best effort to date.

Lest I forget HIs Mercy and Grace.

#GCAM19 was probably my 5th or 6th Gold Coast Marathon. Lost count after a while. I think I skipped a year or two since 2012 for some reasons. Nevertheless, weather-wise, this one has got to be the least conducive of all compared to previous years.

We came into it with threats of high wind and showers. Lo and behold, the threat finally materialized 10 minutes before the race started. As 6 thousand odd runners gathered at the FM starting pens, it poured. Talk about a “shower party”.

Personally, this GC experience was also my fiercest struggle. Looming in the background was an injury sustained 5 weeks earlier that was just gnawing away at my confidence. The nagging pain whenever I ran just reduced me to a fretful wreck. Did all I could with physio and treatment but it was just not budging. To top that off, I was beginning to doubt my training. 80/20 and high mileage laid a good foundation, no doubt about that. But would that be enough? Would I need to do more speed work in order to avoid plateauing? I couldn’t help feeling that a crucial ingredient was amiss. Several weeks leading into GC, this concern became more apparent as I began my tempo sessions. I just felt weak and the paces were all over the place. It was not what I had anticipated at all.

Top that off with life and work, priorities and responsibilities, etc. and you have yourself a recipe for serious doubt. “Why so serious?” “Why aim so high?” “Why train so hard?” “You have nothing to prove!” “Those ‘glory days’ are over.” “Even if you do achieve that elusive result, it is but a moving target.” “Where does it all end?”…

Perhaps it is time to rest. After all, I have been training with hardly any break from March 2018 until now; Clocking in 100-130 with the odd 150 km, week in and week out. Like a self-sustained automaton, it was purely mechanical. Some would call this “passion of running”. But I’ll be honest with you, such romanticized cliché alone doesn’t remotely justify it; it’s like surviving on bread and water as long as there is love. You just can’t go to a gunfight with a slingshot. There must be something more than that.

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The shower party ended abruptly as we cleared the first km. With my eyes set on the purple balloon 2:50 pacer, I instinctively gave chase. I figured that if I sandwich myself between the 2:50 and 3:00 pacers, I should be safe. And with only a 10-second gap between the gun and net time, I quickly caught up with the purple balloon group within the first couple of km.

The race just took on a life of its own. Haven’t felt like this since Seoul. I was very cautiously aware of the “feel-good-just-to-bonk-later” factor. Yet it felt good! Good enough to let loose and go for it. By this, I want to qualify that there is something else at work. I have talked about “running IN the moment” in my previous posts. This time around, there is a bit more focus on this aspect. It is learning to trust wholeheartedly and absolutely placing yourself where God’s Almighty power can (and will!) work through you. I figured that He is more than sufficient. I have nothing to add to it except to yield.

My weeks of doubts and concerns about my condition and the sustainability of my pace dissipated in the moment of rush. It was more than just pure adrenaline. There was the quiet confidence that was filled with unspeakable peace. You have no idea how much of a relief it was.

At the 3rd km, I made an impromptu decision to pass the 2:50 group. To be frank, this thought never crossed my mind that morning when I toed that line. Too reckless? Over-ambitious? Perhaps. But once you work out that a certain pace is comfortable and well within your perceived effort, go for it. Don’t doubt and second guess it. You will never know unless you are willing to “risk” it. On hindsight, this had been the lesson that I have learned over the past few marathons. Had I kept a conservative “Oh, I think this is too fast, better slow down lest I bonk” mentality, then I would never have experienced the exhilaration of breaking those barriers and achieving my consecutive PBs.

And since I have handed this to God to lead, I will just have to trust Him with the consequences. Don’t even think about it. I call it “mindful forgetfulness”.

So, it was a bit of a Déjà vu as in Seoul and HK. From the start, I managed to keep to a constant pace right through until 34km; where 15 kms were done at 4 min/km while 19 other at sub 4 min/km pace. This is surprising as the perceived effort was constant throughout these segments. I even managed to clock some PRs along the way with an official Half Marathon split time of 1:24:12 and 1:59:43 for 30km.

Well, the real race this time commenced after that 34km. I felt a bit of fatigue creeping in as we headed towards the 36km turning point. Just before the turn, the purple balloon 2:50 pacer with his small group of entourage overtook me with their relentless unforgiving pace. Actually, it wasn’t that their pace had quickened. It was my pace that had dropped down to a 4:06-4:10; Enough for them to inch their way past me. But perception can be deceiving. From my angle, it just felt that they were storming through. A bit of a morale buster…I must confess.

Nevertheless, the sustainability of pace was truly tested at this point. The toughest battle was at 38km onwards, where all hell broke loose. It was clearly reflected in the abrupt drop in pace to a lowest 4:30min/km. They say the perception of fatigue is largely at a cerebral level where the accumulation of lactic acid and depletion of glycogen results in such an override response. It’s the brain shouting out to the body: STOP! Or else you will collapse.

But in real life, I don’t think anyone has enough reasoning capacity left to draw upon at this stage. Something else has got to take over: The Will.

I just couldn’t throw away all that I have worked for until this point. I would have kicked myself afterward. “Never mind the sub 2:50!”. Can’t cry over spilled milk. “At least go for a sub 2:53”. “Better your Seoul PB”. “You owe yourself this much!”

On hindsight, as always, I can’t honestly say that I have given it my all at the final stages. I could have done better by at least keeping my focus. It was not entirely the issue of physical fatigue. I know I WAS capable of sustaining a faster pace than 4:20-4:30. But my will, at that moment where it mattered, was just not strong enough to override the cerebral fatigue. It’s something that I’ll need to work on in future.

At 40 km, I grew a bit fed up with my dwindling pace. So, with only 2km to go, I stepped up my pace and started reeling back a few runners that had overtaken me during my lull. It was a satisfying thing to realize that I still have some fuel in the tank. All was not lost. In the final few hundred meters, I sped up, (short of a semi-sprint), to finish off the race in good ole GC fashion as I hear my name being announced along with the final steps.

It was a very very satisfying run, nonetheless. A powerful lesson learned.

So it was. A PB of more than 2 minutes from Seoul result: 2:51:14. (Official net time)

Post-Race analysis:

Lack of mileage. I was hoping for a 150-160 weekly mileage but only managed up to 130 on one occasion with the rest only averaging at 110.

Strengthening. Need to build up those core, glut and leg muscles. I sense some weakness in this area as I began the tempo and intervals sessions.

Increase Tempo and Interval workouts. I realize that the tune-up was marred by the injury. It would have given the muscles more priming as I progress into the race.

Train more on mental tenacity. More often than not, I did little on mental focus while training through those high mileages. I just went through the motion. The “mindful forgetfulness” was only a very recent realization.

Final note:

Yet through it all, what makes sense to me is just how running teaches me about life. It drills in the idea of grit and tenacity. It fortifies the practice of consistency. It enforces the notion of integrity. It enhances the power of focus. It is many things… too many things to me that to elucidate it would seem to cheapen it. You can only identify with this if you have gone through it yourself. Words aren’t enough. So it’s not just a PB. It is so much more than that.